I don’t have to tell you that it’s been an interesting past five months.
I’ve struggled with my health and body image. Fortunately, I also have much to be grateful for.
Things had gone from slightly crazy to completely off the rails and I’m here to share part of my story.
Back in May, I posted a blurb here or there about body image and the changes I’ve had this year.
This all started back before quarantine and by April, I was diagnosed with an auto-immune disease. I was referred to an endocrinologist and earlier this month, I was diagnosed with mild insulin resistance and slightly elevated liver enzymes. Say what?
Health issues had me in denial.
I am a dietitian, for goodness sake! I walk on my lunch breaks – because I enjoy it (some days it’s the only “me” time I get) and it energizes me, and also, yes for the health benefits.
My diet is generally healthful. Can’t say it’s “perfect” – check out my past video on that. Could I make some “improvements”? Sure, but with three little kids, including a one-year-old who (still) constantly wants to be held, it’s not really feasible right now.
Sometimes you learn lessons the hard way. Also, sometimes having a philosophy is different than when things are actually happening to YOU.
I totally support body positivity and body appreciation. Until this year, however, I realized that I never personally had the challenge of dealing with body change in a way that society would deem “unfavorable.”
For the past 10 years, my body was what it was, with minimal change (outside of my pregnancies – but even then went back to my “normal”, except for this one). Please note: I realize that I still have so much privilege.
I never had to deal with any type of health issue. Do I have a genetic predisposition to insulin resistance and non-alcoholic fatty liver disease (NAFLD)? Yes. Were these changes my fault? No. And, because I was doing all that I could realistically do through lifestyle to manage my health, I opted for medication to normalize my labs.
Instead of just focusing on what has gone wrong, here are some things that have gone right:
- I was tuned in enough with my body to notice something was off.
- I had providers who listened to my concerns and ran appropriate tests. (Also, there was no weight shaming -and I was braced for it. I hear from clients all the time whose healthcare providers harp on any increase in weight and praise any decrease. It doesn’t matter the methods taken to achieve said weight loss.)
- I’ve dressed in clothes that fit my body and are comfortable.
- I did not starve my body because it didn’t meet my expectations of what it should look like.
- I continued to care for my body and soul through movement – things I truly enjoy (see my past video on reasons to exercise even without weight change) and not as punishment.
- A supportive husband who dealt with my craziness, mood swings, apathy, and brain fog. (I’ve later realized were consistent both with my auto-immune disease, as well as insulin resistance).
- Kids who had no freaking clue that my body was changing (nor would they care). They were just glad I took them to the splash pad and went swimming with them when we had the chance.
- Friends who listened to my complaints going through this process.
- Clients who I learn from every day – you really are my best teachers.
- A professional community of Health at Every Size (HAES) RDs and other professionals.
Now that things are a bit more settled, I hope to return to you with weekly nutrition bites to encourage and support you through your body acceptance and nourishing journey.
I’d love to hear what you’ve been struggling with these last few months so I can know how to better support you to eat for fuel, eat for fun, and eat for life. Take care.